I'm starting to feel the itch.

What itch?

The "I need a new MMO" itch. I'm not sure what it is about me, it could very well be a mental defect, but it is exceedingly rare for me to be able to stick with an MMO for longer than a handful of months. All in all, WAR is doing pretty well. I've been playing since about two weeks after launch, so it's been a few months. But I'm starting to get restless. I'm unsure if this has to do specifically with the game I'm playing or that I just really love trying new games. In this case since the itch I'm getting is to return to games I've played previously (namely, EQ2 and/or Vangaurd) I'm thinking it must be something to do with WAR itself.

Simply put, I don't like T4. I'm not really much of an RvRer, I was in fact pretty much anti-PvP before coming to WAR. I've had a lot of fun with it though, so it's not just a general "I don't like RvR" thing. It's several things. At the moment, I hate my server. A month or two ago Avelorn was merged with Phoenix Throne and what had in my opinion been a pretty darn balanced server is now Order heavy. T4 is and has been swarming with Order constantly, I hate to use the term "zerg" but that's what it feels like. Destruction is for the most part getting steamed rolled everywhere I turn. I honestly feel that my sever is now TOO full. Maybe I just don't find the fun in 200 vs 200 battles ... I don't know. I had a lot more fun when it was 20 or 40 on either side.

This has lead to a serious downward spiral in my sides moral over the past few weeks. We are terribly, terribly defeatist. And even when I try not to be defeatist when everyone around you is being so it's very hard to keep your spirits up. It doesn't help that, honest to god, I have not won one.single.scenerio is nearly two weeks. That's in T4 with my witch elf and T3 with my DoK. Not a single win, flattened to a pancake every damn time. It gets old... very old.

I'm not saying I wish to win every time. But that fact that I lose every time means that somewhere on Order there's someone getting the luck of the draw and WINNING every time. Three or four loses in a row I can deal with, it happens. Seven... eight... a dozen. I just give up and log off, because at that point the game is actually making me sad and upset. And it's suppose to be fun. Scenerios with four rune priests and two arcmages vs our side with one zealot and a DoK are the norm. There is no way to win like that. Throw in the insanity of Engineer disables and knockdowns and it's a recipe for pulling out my hair... or logging out. (Yes Syp. I freaking hate Engineers. Twelve seconds of CC and I'm dead before I can even hurt them.)

Add in the fact that it's a game completely devoid of any sort of open roleplay, or interguild roleplay, I can't even freaking sit or walk and the crafting is terrible and I just can't figure out why I'm logging in anymore. It's terribly sad. I want to like the game, I want to feel the drive to log in. But unless you're RvRing, aside from chasing tome unlocks there isn't anything to do. Once Menkara hit tier 4 I just saw never ending Serpant's Passage runs, being camped at my spawn point, fetched my WL and destroy in seconds flat over and over and ....this after never ending Tor Anroc runs with dwarves eeeeverywhere throwing me about like a soccer ball. It just isn't fun.

I want to like the game. And I continue to log in for a few hours everyday just to putz around and RP. My boyfriend will freaking kill me if I want to jump games yet again. But I don't know what WAR can do to get my devotion back. But I keep thinking about the depth and fun of Vangaurd's crafting, the amount of crazy fun to be had with collections, book quests, heritage quests and everything else in EQ2. When I look at WAR I only see "It's got RvR and Druchii." Vast as the ocean, as deep as a backyard swimming pool.

Maybe a win would help.

Death of a Carebear

I had a very well worded, poignant post about the state of ORvR in WAR written in my head. But then I stopped to make the best damn spagetti I've ever had and totally forgot it.

So this will be less poignant, but from a happier viewpoint since I am now full of pasta. 

The past few days have been a roller coaster when it comes to RvR. I've seen the lows, times when I'm so angry at my teammates that I mention to my guild "I almost wish I were Order, just so I could beat the shit out of our allies." And times where... well, we didn't exactly rise to occasion cause I did have to leave one WB (but managed not to call them cowards this time. IC I swear! >.>) but I did have the most fun, challenging and longest lasting RvR battle that I've had since the week after launch. 

So lets start with the lows. A few nights ago in a rare moment of activity Sevren (the smexy pokey witch elf) decided to take part in some keep taking in Dragonwake. It was a fairly mundane, boring run. The sort I've come to expect of ORvR, we took the first keep with no oposition. Hum drum, we claimed a few BOs on our way to the second. Took the second again with little to no oposition. At this point the WB leader declares that we're moving on to Chaos lands. That came at the exact moment that I spotted a group of five or so Order on the outside walls. Being me, I immediately put the word out and stealthed at the bottom of the stairs upward. I stood and watched a dozen people pour out of the doors without a care in the world but two or three others came with me. The order group was obvious organized and balanced in classes and pretty flately owned our hodge podge of DPS in the face. The most amazing (but not so really) thing happened. 

Destruction didn't give a crap. Order continued to pour in through our already open doors, I warned my group that there was enough there to take the keep back. The response was "Who cares, let them take it. Means more loot when we come back through to reclaim".  I and a few members of WB reacted less than friendly, calling them out for avoiding a fight. There was a few minutes of arguement before the WB leader finally spoke up and said, "Ok, Let's forget CoF. Move on to Chaos lands." I saw red, promptly told them "Forget cowards." dropped WB and went back to attempt to at least take out a few while order tramped all over our newly claimed keep. They took it of course, didn't even have to drop a ram. I ended up logging off. I don't get angry during PvP any more, I use to, but I don't any longer. If a member of Order takes me down, good for them. If I run into a group of them, my fault for not paying attention to where I am. How do you fight the conflict avoiding, shiney carrot seeking tendancies of your own side? 

Fast forward to last night. 1.1 brings in the RvR influence rewards. They are, absofreakinglutely awesome. Serious, Sevren's purple set has so much +crit chance that I almost feel sorry for Order. I ended up however, on my low t3 alt (20, just barely. but she's a healer! Deal with it) fighting in Avelorn. And I had a BLAST. Order was really kicking butt, in fact they could have claimed Ghrond's but elected not to. Instead they just stood on the bottom floor and let us come to them. They were very much there for the fight and I LOVED it. It was back and forth for nearly four hours. Things only really trickled off because everyone needed to go to bed. I heard things like "Doesn't Order have to go to work in the morning? Ugh!" a half dozen times in regional. Beaten by bedtimes, feh. It was as a whole, exactly what WAR is suppose to be ... war. And yet, in the middle of the tug of war my warband wanted to play musical keeps again. At this point we'd never lost Ghrond's and had taken a chance after pushing Order back to dash south in Saphrey to take The Well. Apparently, even when Order is still there, still fighting, still pushing and in vast numbers it STILL means that it's time to move on. "Going to Chaos now." my WB leader says. My leveling partner ask, "Why would you leave when there's a fight still raging here?" The answer was of course "More loot." I polietly told them no thanks and found another WB.

I'm ok with it. While they're fighting NPCs and singing kum by ya I had the most fun, intense, long lasting keep defence battle I've ever seen and I really got to push my limits as a healer. It was a beautiful moment. I've PvPed very rarely with my DoK and I really only squeeked by on years of prior healing experience as I frantically tried to keep up with the damage. I'll take that to the Tour de Keep Lord Smashing any day.

People keep saying that Mythic needs to do something to make ORvR more inticing. I think at this point that they've done just about all they can do. At some point, it becomes the the community's fault for not taking part. Honestly, I've been a "carebear" for six years of MMO gaming while playing things like EVE and Lineage2. I was under the impression that the PvPers were blood thirsty, always looking for a fight, always eager to "ruin my fun" by blowing me up while I'm trying to level. Come on now, WAR is currently only proving my long standing point that most of the fun people find in PvP is griefing. If it's concentual, you all would rather avoid it completely? Or is it honestly that people need the carrot? You can't get a gold bag by killing Order, so why should you stay and have fun if it doesn't mean phat loots for you? 

RvR weenies.

Yesterday's Heavy Metal task was to kill 15 people in open RvR. This is of course, an awesome idea. I enjoy open RvR, there's just some key elements to it that keep my lazy butt from doing it very often (1: Lag 2: Lag 3: Travel time). But when I logged on in Eaitain I was happy to see an open warband of about twelve people which my boyfriend and I promptly joined and took off for Dragonwake.  

 Dragonwake didn't seem much going on, or rather, I showed up too late to see much going on but the group decided to head for Kadrin Valley since it was unlocked and had tasty looking blue on the map. When we got there scouts reported that Order had just flipped the last BO and was heading for the southern keep so off we went. 

At this point, there are thirteen of us. We set up our seige weapons on the first wall, set the fire under the oil and were waiting when Order arrived.   Remember now, there were thirteen of us. Taking a headcount as they arrived I counted at least 18, most likely a few more. The battle over the door was pretty fun. Against the norm they actually brought their own ballistas and managed to destroy the ones we'd set up against them promptly. There was an awesome five minutes of fighting over the oil as two or three bright wizards nuke it to pieces and four of us constantly repaired it and lobbed it at their heads. Conversation on our side was to the tune of "Do we have enough to hold them off?" "They seem pretty organized" etc.  

First door goes down and we all fall back to the keep. At this point we start putting out calls to the rest of the zone to come help but Order has such a lockdown on the postern door that no one can get in and the handful that went out to try to chase them away ended up dead in seconds. As it becomes clear that the door is going to be falling soon I left my post at the top of the keep, taking another quick head count of the front and back door before falling back to the keep lord room.  

The count by my eye almost exactly even. We had 18 people, Order had 19-20 people. Chances are that in fact they had a few more since I can clearly see how many people destro has but it's hard to count two doors as people are running about. Conversation on our side continues along the lines of "Can we do this?" We quickly organize a tactic. We have two chosen and a black orc as well as several sorcerers. The plan is simple but beautiful, the tanks block the top of the ramp with their big beefy tankness, the sorceres nuke like maniacs and hope that a BW doesn't get them in sight and the healers keep them alive. (What was I doing you ask? Oh, I'm a MDPS. I sit on my thumbs.)  

Order breaks through the door and rushes in! Tense moment! Conversation on our side is reassurance "Be patient, just stay still. They'll rush us any moment, be ready." So we follow orders and wait... and wait a bit more. It becomes clear that Order is waiting on -us- to get impatient and come down to them. They finally send up a scout who throws himself at the tanks, blows up and promptly gets raised. Alright! Scout means action soon. Then something funny happens. 

Nothing.

  That's right folks, after roughly an hour and a half of back and forth skin of your teeth battle over the doors, on equal or greater footing with destruction, Order finds themselves unwilling to gather their courage, come up with a tactic and come for what they came for. They all freaking left without setting foot on the ramp. When we finally got that they were chickening out we ran down the ramp to find one lone Iron Breaker standing his ground and ready to take us on. Poor guy, he must have hated his team mates but I'd like to shake his hand.   

After this display of what tactical defense looks like we fully expected to see Order at their keep to the north when we left to claim it. Did we? Of course not, not an ever loving soul was there. One of our members stated "Pfft, if they're going to be this lame I'm going to bed." And so I logged out with 8/15. (After taking all of Praag without seeing a soul.)

The good news is that I got two pieces of Annihilator's, head and shoulders. The bad news is that I lost a bit of faith in humanity. 

What it means to be a Druchii

Disclaimer: This will likely come across as a rant, as it's one of those thoughts that have been bubbling in my mind for a few weeks and have been pushed to the point of being put into words. Also, I very dearly love roleplaying and probably more so love the lore and background history that developers of fantasy worlds spend so much blood, sweat and tears laying out for us. I could rant equally as well and as passionatly about the poorly done Egyptological "specials" on the History Channel. It's just how I get about history and society, even made up ones. I also desperatly LOVE talking about my characters, their motivations and quirks and could brain storm OOCly for hours with fellow RPs and have done so in the past. None of this is meant specifically about any one person and as it's not posted on a public forum but a private blog, it is of course, only my thoughts and shouldn't be taken as law. (as if it would be.)

Nearly every roleplaying Druchii (dark elf) I've crossed paths with across two servers now has suffered from one thing that makes it terribly hard to believe their character.

They are far too nice. 

Druchii are not.nice. They may be pleasant in company they enjoy, when it suits their needs or when the person they are being pleasant to is higher ranking than them. They have absolutely no qualms about stepping all over anyone below them and do not give a scaven's fuzzy ass how you're feeling today. I understand that it takes a special type of roleplayer, the serious sort with a strong sense of what is IC and what is OOC, to play a giant ass hole. But if you rolled a Druchii... you ARE a giant asshole and I expect you to be as such. When a druchii smiles warmly, bows, asks me how my day is my character's immediate reaction is "What the hell is wrong with you? What do you want?" and my personal reaction is a quiet groan. 

In our day to day life, in sane normal human society we expect everyone around us to be neutrally pleasant. That certainly isn't to say everyone is (ha!) or that it's expected to be sincer. The druchii are not humans, they are not exactly sane either, from our point of view. The whole race and their entire society is not set up to expect everyone you meet to be neautrally pleasant. Druchii do not quietly converse about the weather while standing in line at the store, nor do the check out ladies at their stores remember your name or ask how your child's cold is doing. (Real world example, it's a good contrast.) The idea of congenial friendless is devoid in their society. When meeting a druchii of the same rank they are expected to be curt, cool. When meeting one of a lesser rank they are expected, by social stadards, to be demanding and dominering lest the lesser see a chance to unsurp you. 

My guild (Khaine bless them!) is both heavy RP and dark elf themed. I love them to little tiny pieces. Sevren? Freaking hates them all. She is however, the lowest rank of the guild currently and so does her proper sucking up. There are perhaps, three characters in the whole rather large guild that she mildly respects and that doesn't include it's leaders/officers. She pays them the lip service they deserve, but she is not personally impressed or sincerly respectful of them. She is a druchii. Respect is earned two ways. By outranking her (which they very much do) or by scaring the shit out of her (which they don't). 

I understand that as stated above, it takes certain types of roleplayers to be ok with being a giant arse. Some are just too nice in real life to feel comfortable doing it without the express permission of those they're talking to, or perhaps just don't want to. And it also takes a certain type to -get- that it's strictly in character. But if you claim to be a roleplayer, and can't understand that the guy over there threatening to "peel your skin back like a scroll" (<3> Korinth) doesn't actually want to do so, you need a more solid ground into your hobby. Me and my character are two very, very different things. Just because Sevren is a bitch to you, doesn't mean we can't laugh and goof off and be best buds OOCly. Prime example above, OOCly I respect the hell out of my guild leaders and think they do an awesome job. But with the heavy 100% focus of the guild I know that real life feelings do not need to influence my character. Because they're roleplayers too, and get it. I can also -hate- your alt, and love your main. Because character is not player. So be a jerk! I get it.

This isn't to say that everyone should be cliche evil. (No one should be cliche anything) Or that it's not possible for a semi-decent dark elf to exist. Too much nicey nice is ... well, too much.

I play a Druchii. I am an evil bitch at my very core. Sevren doesn't think she is, because it's just how she is, how her people are. I just wish more played that way, fleshed out their characters that way and got more into the spirit of their race. Because a lot of dark elf characters could just as easily be high elf by switching the "Blood for Khaine!" rhetoric for "Hail Asuryan!"

Also, I reserve the right to beat the everloving crap out of anyone who greets me with "Vendui" or makes their name T'Anything. (I'm only half joking about that.)

Also, anyone who plays a Druchii should be required to read at least a few chapters of the Malus Darkblade books. (And I am not joking about that.)